It can be scary to hear a friend or family member talk about suicide, but if you take it seriously, know the facts and take action, you can save a life.
Get the Facts!
MYTH: People who die from suicide don't warn others.
FACT:There are almost always warning signs, but others are often unaware of their significance or do not know what to do.
MYTH:Once people decide to die by suicide, there is nothing you can do to stop them.
FACT: The vast majority of people that make even very serious suicide attempts do not go on to complete suicide. Most people who are suicidal don't really want their lives to end - they just want the pain to end. The understanding, support, and hope that you offer can be their most important lifeline.
MYTH: Talking about suicide may cause someone to consider it or make things worse.
FACT: Asking someone if they're suicidal will never give them an idea that they haven't thought about already. Most suicidal people are truthful and relieved when questioned about their feelings and intentions. Doing so can be the first step in helping them to choose to live.
MYTH:It's best to keep someone's suicidal feelings a secret.
FACT: Never, ever keep your or someone else's suicidal thoughts and feelings a secret - even if you're asked to do so. It is better to risk losing a friendship than to risk losing a friend forever.
MYTH: If someone promised to seek help, your job is done.
FACT:You need to make sure that any suicidal person stays safe until you can help them connect with a responsible adult.
Warning Signs
Most people who are suicidal give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member. Most people who are suicidal want to live but are unable to find another way to cope with their thoughts and feelings.
Talking about suicide and/or death - making threats
Recent suicide attempts (by self or others)
Describing a plan to kill oneself that includes lethal means (firearms/poison/medication) that are available
Making final arrangements, such as giving away special possessions or unusual contact with personally significant people
Overwhelming sense of anger, self-hatred, worthlessness, guilt, shame, humiliation or rejection
Withdrawal from family, friends and other social supports
Recklessness and impulsivity
Difficulty sleeping and alcohol consumption
Obsession with death, including making poems, essays and drawings that refer to death
Dramatic change in personality or appearance, including irrational, bizarre behavior
Severe drop in school performance
Remember... These warning signs should be taken seriously. Get help immediately. Your action may save a life.
How to Help
Ask. Don't be afraid to ask if your friend or loved is thinking about hurting themselves or if they have a plan. Many people think that talking with a person about suicide will give them an idea but that is false. You won't give a suicidal person morbid ideas by talking about suicide. The opposite is true - bringing up the subject of suicide and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.
Offer help and listen. Encourage your friend or loved one to talk about their feelings. Listen, don't lecture.
Trust your instincts. If the situation seems serious, get help right now. Tell a secret, if necessary, in order to save a life. It is better to risk losing a friendship than to risk losing a friend forever.
Pay attention to talk about suicide. Always take it seriously and get help immediately.
Don't judge or debate if suicide is right or wrong. Don't ask "why" - this may encourage defensiveness
Seek help. Talk with a trusted adult (ex: teacher, school counselor, principal, coach, parent or other family member, clergyperson, physician, etc.) who can help you find the help that your friend or loved one needs. You may want to offer to go with the person when they seek help. Visit our online resource guide for helpful resources in Milwaukee County.
Never keep talk of suicide a secret even if your friend has asked you to. Take it seriously and seek help immediately from a trusted adult. It is better to risk losing a friendship than to risk losing a friend forever.
Call 911 if the person is in immediate danger or has a weapon. Otherwise, call (800) 273-TALK (8255) or contact a doctor or mental health professional.
